Demented Love Notes

This is like a diary for me; full of my thoughts and dreams, secrets and hopes and the things I get up to on a day to day basis.

Depression does not always mean
Beautiful girls shattering at the wrists
A glorified, heroic battle for your sanity
Or mothers that never got the chance to say good-bye

Sometimes depression means
Not getting out of bed for three days
Because your feet refuse to believe
That they will not shatter upon impact with the floor

Sometimes depression means
That summoning the willpower
To go downstairs and do the laundry
Is the most impressive thing you accomplish that week

Sometimes depression means
Lying on the floor staring at the ceiling for hours
Because you cannot convince your body
That it is capable of movement

Sometimes depression means
Not being able to write for weeks
Because the only words you have to offer the world
Are trapped and drowning and I swear to God I’m trying

Sometimes depression means
That every single bone in your body aches
But you have to keep going through the motions
Because you are not allowed to call in to work depressed

Sometimes depression means
Ignoring every phone call for an entire month
Because yes, they have the right number
But you’re not the person they’re looking for, not anymore

—by “Alexandra” Tilton, NH (Teen Ink: November 2013 Issue)

(Source: stellines, via starsandgutters)

i will not apologize for being too much for you.
i saw that girl in the dress that fell midway from thigh to knee.
you called her a slut and when i looked down at my own hemline i wondered what you truly thought of me.
do you remember the rosy lipstick that you asked me not to wear because i was “pretty without it?”
so did you think i was ugly with it?
for a month you needed a haircut but i never said anything because if you like it long you like it long,
but then you said “all i ask is don’t wear your hair up, i like it more down”
as if your opinion was supposed to matter so much to me.
so i’m not sorry for wearing tight dresses or for not holding my tongue.
i’m not sorry for keeping the lipstick
or for making more money than you
or for losing my temper when you rolled your eyes at my convictions.
i was a river and you were a dam;
you should have known i would crash through you.
i was the noise you wanted to silence and the pistol you wanted to lock
and no, i will never apologize.

—if you wanted a girl you could control, you picked the wrong one. (via sheets-and-eyelids)

(via dream-to-london)

My problem is that I fall in love with words, rather than actions. I fall in love with ideas and thoughts, instead of reality. And it will be the death of me.


(Source: roadtothesacred, via tatianathevampireslayer)

When it comes to relationships people are always so scared of the what-if’s that they forget the what-is. They spend so much time thinking, ‘What if I get hurt?’ and ‘What if it doesn’t work out?’ that they stop thinking about that things that are already real. They forget the feeling they get when the person they love walks into the room and the excitement that rushes through them when the phone rings because it might be the person they are waiting to hear from. Never let the fear of what-if stop you from letting yourself take a chance on love…because “what if” this is the person you’re destined to spend the rest of your life with?

—thelovenotebook (via thelovenotebook)

(via ashleygthang)

Genie, I'm... I'm gonna miss you.
                                                 ... Me too, Al.
Genie, I'm... I'm gonna miss you.
                                                 ... Me too, Al.

(Source: ababwa)

Cosima, Reigning Queen of the NERDS, showing the lowly peasants how it’s done (◡‿◡✿)

(Source: vivacosima, via i-am-rumbleroar)

No matter how great of a woman you are, you will never be good enough for someone who isn’t ready. I learned that the hard way.

—My past experiences  (via nahchlll)

(Source: lovelywiles, via ashleygthang)